Focus on Education Satirical Project
Rachel Solomon 6th period Investigated Problem: The level of education in the United States has long been a large problem, however one that does not seem to be getting enough attention. To get straight to the point, American students are not scoring nearly as high as students from other countries in international tests such as the Third International Math and Science Study. In this test, the United States scored “average” for elementary students; however the middle school and high school levels were cringe-worthy (“International Test Scores”). According to the Huffington Post, the United States education system ranks 17th in the world, behind countries like Finland (#1), the UK (#6), and the Netherlands (#7) (Zhou). Another study, the Harvard University’s Program on Education Policy and Governance, shows that students in Latvia, Brazil, and Chile are excelling about three times as fast as American students, with countries such as Germany and Slovenia excelling about twice as fast. Many Americans believe that the answer to our education deficit is to dedicate a larger portion of the budget to it. After all, teachers usually make about 14% less money than other professionals with about the same education level, and the defense section of our budget is about seven times as large as that for education (“US Federal Budget Analyst”). However, the US actually spends more money than most other nations on education per child (“U.S. Education Spending and Performance vs. The World”); therefore, many believe the answer lies in reform. The education system must need revision, with a higher respect given to teachers, and textbooks that go more in depth to fewer topics, as opposed to ours that cover dozens of topics with few details. Unfortunately, the reform has not been put into place because many argue that there are many other programs in this country that are in much worse shape the education system, therefore it does not yet deserve our attention. It’s a long process, if we choose reform as the answer. In addition to the continuously falling test scores, our country’s reputation continues to fall with test and cheating scandals, especially like the recent one in Atlanta. Here, more than 44 schools and 178 employees were busted for changing answers in standardized tests to improve the areas average scores and to get bonuses usually connected to higher test scores (Severson and Blinder). However, this ended up having the opposite effect in the long run. United States Decides to Discontinue Education This past Thursday, Congress voted to cut the budget entirely for education. After months of debate on the House floor, it was decided that this was merely a waste of tax payer dollars that could be safely eliminated from the budget without further consequences. Obviously, our current ranking as 17th in the world is perfectly satisfactory, and we can now take a break to focus on more important matters: creating the newest flavor McWrap at McDonalds and anxiously awaiting the newest Kendrick Lamar album. Why would we bother our youth with meaningless knowledge when they can be perfectly happy entertaining themselves? Instagram and Twitter have already been hired as our newest nannies, and they lead to a much more pleasant, narcissistic younger generation. When we asked Congressman John Smith from Florida what his thinking was behind this decision, he told us, “Our presentation to the rest of the world is everything. We would never want to come off as a bunch of nerds with our noses in books all day when we can be just chillin’ all the time.” After all, we would much rather spend our money building up a military ready to destroy the world than educate those who will soon inhabit it. Those intelligence plans are easy to figure out though; there is no previous experience or knowledge required. James Jones of Ohio agrees, “It’s our own national experiment. I think it would be interesting to see what the outcome in twenty years of a non-educated society would be. Hopefully the success of this trial may even lead other countries to try our approach.” Another defense of many representatives was that our system would need so much work to fix, there is no point in even trying. “Trying to catch up to Hong Kong, or even the UK would be an insurmountable task. Even attempting this would be a waste of money and could be potentially fatal for the nation,” says Senator Jessica Games. “If we are already moving three times slower than Chile, Latvia, and Brazil, there seems to be no point in even trying to fix ourselves.” National embarrassment seems to have been the foreground of the debates before the bill was passed, and hopefully this problem will be avoided with the revision of the budget. Our nation in thirty years will be led by the smartest, non-educated people in the world. Seasoned with experience in fending for themselves, our countries leaders will soon rank among the best. The economy will improve from the free portion of money that used to be saved for education; we can now focus more on programs for the impoverished, hungry, and hopeless. After all, education could never do as much good as these programs would. One of the biggest fears of citizens coming from these reforms is those of the teachers. They will most likely flee from the country because they do not like to have any fun, which will now be the focal point of the American youth. However, the government is confident that in a few years, we will gain back those whom we lost due to fear because they will realize what they are missing. -Rachel Solomon, USA News Reflection: To me, education is one of the most neglected but most important concepts ever considered. It is an incredible idea; teach the next generation everything everyone knows, and see how it will affect the improvement of society in the future. It has already created massive improvements: a more comfortable lifestyle, longer life expectancies, and a more stable society. The reason behind its continuous downfall in the United States is one that continues to baffle me every day. I believe reform to the system is the only way it will ever rise to meet South Korea or Finland, and this is a process that seems to be continuously avoided because of the effort and attention it will require. In my satire, I brought up a humorous idea of the USA just eliminating education all together, which hopefully will prompt the reader into thinking about the true consequences of that and the importance of education in the first place. The newspaper article makes the most sense for breaking this sort of news to the public because often the most knowledgeable citizens read the paper in the first place. This article uses irony (the backwardness of the Congress people’s quotes), hyperbole (the idea that America is completely throwing away knowledge), and oxymoron (“smartest, un-educated leaders”) to ridicule the current mindset of the US in educating its next generation. Bibliography Chantrill, Christopher. "US Defense Budget: US Federal Budget FY12 Estimated Spending Breakdown." US Federal Budget Analyst. N.p., n.d. Web. 13 Feb. 2014. <http://www.usfederalbudget.us/defense_budget_2012_3.html>. "International Test Scores." Academic Failure. N.p., 11 May 2011. Web. 13 Feb. 2014. <http://4brevard.com/choice/international-test-scores.htm>. Severson, Kim, and Alan Blinder. "Test Scandal in Atlanta Brings More Guilty Pleas." The New York Times. The New York Times, 6 Jan. 2014. Web. 13 Feb. 2014. <http://www.nytimes.com/2014/01/07/education/test-scandal-in-atlanta-brings-more-guilty-pleas.html?_r=0>. "The Federal Education Budget." Federal Education Budget Project. New America Foundation, 30 Aug. 2013. Web. 10 Feb. 2014. <http://febp.newamerica.net/background-analysis/education-federal-budget>. "U.S. Education Spending and Performance vs. The World [INFOGRAPHIC]." USC Rossier Online. University of Southern California, 6 Feb. 2011. Web. 13 Feb. 2014. <http://rossieronline.usc.edu/u-s-education-versus-the-world-infographic/>. Zhao, Emmeline. "Best Education In The World: Finland, South Korea Top Country Rankings, U.S. Rated Average." The Huffington Post. TheHuffingtonPost.com, 27 Nov. 2012. Web. 12 Feb. 2014. <http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2012/11/27/best-education-in-the-wor_n_2199795.html>. The book I have recently been reading is named Plain Truth by Jodi Picoult. As I've read, I've noticed that the words and sentence structure of the writing can help contribute to the tone or mood the author is trying to convey. In this passage, the author repeats and uses a lot of manes with minimal pronoun use. This is to clarify the reader's understanding of who is who and what they are doing, most likely because all of the characters in this scene are female. Almost every sentence in this passage begins with an independent clause; the movement and action in this scene is best explained this way- it's fast-moving and straightforward. However, she uses enough adjectives to feel like you're in the situation. The punctuation makes this feel intense, it's flowing enough to move thoroughly, but has enough hyphens to indicate pauses in character action.
"Dating your Mom" is a very funny article because of the ridiculousness of the idea of someone dating his or her own mother. It brings up a rather hilarious mixed mother/child relationship and abnormal circumstances. The author uses some hyperbole ideas, exaggerating our tendency to throw ourselves at anyone. However, I do not think that this is a satire because although it is absurd, it is not poking fun at a serious issue, being mean towards anyone, or speaking in a cynical tone. Along with the hyperbole of people literally throwing themselves at anybody, I would also consider that some irony exists in this passage. You are supposed to deeply love your mother throughout your childhood, but this story takes that relationship to a whole new level. It changes from family love to a deeper romanticism. This is also in a way juxtaposition; the author is placing the relationship of a child and a parent side by side with a boyfriend and girlfriend. These elements make it funny, however not necessarily a satire. I would conclude that the lack of base issue, serious events, or offensiveness prevent it from being a satire. There are not any current issues I can think of that this is poking fun at, and its humor seems to be purely comedic. This fails to satisfy the conditions of a satire.
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